Lord Finchley Tanglefoot

🔑 Meet Lord Finchley Tanglefoot

Lord Finchley is a golden-hued aristocrat with a penchant for elaborate decoration and a structural alignment issue. His body is a stack of textured metallic gold blocks, finished with a beautiful, antique patina. His block head tilts slightly, giving him a look of permanent, polite confusion.

His face features bold gear-and-rivet eyes, a jaunty verdigris clock hand mouth, and is crowned with a tiny brass-dome cap. His torso is a masterpiece of ornamentation, featuring an intricate arrangement of floral metal stampings and a functional-looking key and key ring at his side. He also sports tiny scissors and hinges along his flanks, suggesting he is ready for both delicate paperwork and mild self-maintenance.

⚙️ Origin Story

Lord Finchley was meticulously assembled in 1910 by a well-meaning but slightly tipsy jeweller who mistook him for a giant, complex brooch. The jeweller installed far too many decorative findings and, in a critical error, accidentally glued the head slightly askew. When he was finally activated, Finchley spent his first ten minutes apologizing for the tilt and has carried a permanent air of slightly embarrassed elegance ever since.

💼 Employment History

Current Role: Ambassador of Accidental Lean & Chief Key Holder. (Finchley’s duties involve standing very still on shelves, acting as an aesthetically pleasing curiosity, and subtly reminding everyone that perfection is overrated. He keeps the tiny key for an equally tiny lock he's never managed to find.)

Previous Role (1950s): Automated Toast Butler on a Trans-Atlantic Liner. (Fired for an unfortunate incident where his enthusiasm caused him to lean too far while presenting a silver tray, sending thirty pieces of perfectly buttered toast sliding into the sea. He now prefers roles that do not involve slippery surfaces or high-velocity carbohydrates.)