Screwtape

🔩 Meet "Screwtape"

Don't let the perpetually suspicious expression fool you—Screwtape is mostly harmless, especially when secured to a metal surface. This chunky little fellow is crafted with a solid, angled wood base painted a striking patinated brass or antique gold. He achieves his iconic look through clever assembly: his deep, anxious eyes are created using large washers and black screw heads, while his downturned mouth is simply a long, horizontal screw. Adorned with a jaunty little crown and collar of tiny brass screws, he’s ready for inspection duty!

Employment History (Approx. 145 words)

Current Role: The Grumpy Inventory Auditor. (Duties include ensuring all magnetised items remain precisely 90 degrees from the countertop, performing silent, intense security checks on appliance warranties, and generally looking sternly at the bills you should probably pay.)

Previous Role (1930s-1940s): Quality Control Inspector on the Assembly Line of a Toaster Factory. (Was terminated after continuously failing products that were "too cheerful" or "lacked sufficient metallic gloom." Now finds solace in the reliable, slightly chilly environment of the kitchen, preferring his current, less demanding role as Chief Fridge Critic.)